Diabetic friend

Dear Annie: My 24-year-old roommate, "Jessica," has Type I diabetes. I know her control of her diabetes has never been that great, but I am worried because it has gotten much worse in the past three months.



I rarely see Jess test her sugar levels or give herself insulin shots anymore. She recently lost 20 pounds in a very short period of time, and she was already skinny to begin with. Yet she eats whatever she wants, and in very large portions.



I recently asked Jess how she was able to lose so much weight, and she admitted that she does it by skimping on her insulin shots. I told her I thought she was endangering her health, but she got really mad and told me to stay out of it.



I am a strong believer that each person is entitled to make her own choices, but I`m beginning to think Jess is killing herself. I am tempted to tell her parents, but I`m not sure it will help because Jess constantly complains about how they have too much control over her. I also thought about telling her doctor, but Jess no longer sees that doctor since her job doesn`t offer health insurance.



Please, Annie, tell me what to do. I will be moving away soon for a six-month period while I do an internship, and I`m afraid Jess will go into a diabetic coma while I am gone, and no one will find out until it is too late. -- Diabetic Police Friend



Dear Friend: Jess probably wants to be "normal," but she may be doing a great deal of damage to herself, even if she doesn`t realize it. Try talking to her one more time, without judging or criticizing.



Tell Jess you care about her, and it troubles you that she has cut back on her insulin. Suggest that she talk to a doctor at a health clinic or e-mail the American Diabetes Association (diabetes.org) to find out exactly what the risks are. Before you leave for your internship, notify her parents and any friends who see her enough to notice changes, because you will kick yourself if you don`t. The rest is up to her.



Dear Annie: My husband and I live next door to a retired couple. "Carl," the husband, is the ultimate nosy neighbor. He is constantly gawking at my husband, our young children and me, and it gives me the creeps. He positions his lawn chair so it`s facing our bathroom window, he listens to our conversations, and we have to keep our blinds closed because he is always staring into our house. If we make the slightest noise, he`s off on his "gawk fest."



We have told Carl to stop staring at us, but he says he can look wherever he wants. We`ve tried to ignore him, but it`s pretty hard when someone is watching your every move. What can we do? -- Fed Up in Ottawa



Dear Ottawa: Anyone who spends that much time focusing on young children could be a pedophile. Tell Carl you are worried about the safety of your children, and if he doesn`t stop staring at them, you will be forced to call the police. That oughta take care of it.